Sunday, June 2, 2013

Childhood restored the Matty way!

I gotta admit it.  I sure do miss my childhood.  Most all of it except Nyda divida.  But the time with my father was awesome.  Just that whole period for me was great.  So.....With Figures Toy company redoing the DC part of Mego I thought of other things from my childhood that NEED to be redone for today's kids.  These are my own wacked out ideas to save children's precious memories!

1. Halloween-  Halloween used to be a magical time.  Everything was hokey in the seventies with the Halloween decorations.  Today's kids have REAL monster masks.  Nothing from Ben Cooper etc.  It is too reality based.  The whole holiday as a whole.  In fact it is quite depressing.  A kid today doesn't do much trick or treating anymore.  So sad.  People don't make up their houses anymore in the old Halloween traditions.  There are F13 Jason costumes!  It is too real.  Bring back the corniness of Halloween.  Move the Muslims, JW's and anyone who doesn't celebrate Halloween OUT of the neighborhoods.  Give them Montana as a state and they cannot leave it.
2. Bring back the original 711 cups-These were a thrill for me as a kid.  Now I know 711 still does cups but they are too artsy for me.  And usually only done for the next hit movie.  And it is usually only the star of said movie.  I want 200 different cup styles of different characters!  They could do this with Marvel, DC, WWF wrestling, and many more.  
3. Ebay- Ban the bastards making a living off of Ebay.  I go onto find Classic toys and some jackass has bought all the widgets and is listing them for 20 times their cost.  And he is the only one who has them!!!  Ban them from Ebay and other selling sites.  I am SICK of these guys.  They are trying to profit off of my childhood.  Why don't these punks just get a frickin job.  Everything should be the fair price.  Not jacked up.

4. Repop EVERYTHING...EVERY year!- I am so sick of seeing that too.  I finally want to pull the trigger on some toys that JUST came out last year and the shmucks are listing them twice for what they paid for them.  The way also to combat this is to repop everything every single year.  That will insure prices are kept low.  I want my Krusher and Star Wars toys back but do not and will not pay $200 for one figure.  
5. Bring back arcades-  My childhood was spent hanging out at the arcade.  All arcade games should cost a quarter and nothing more!  The government will subsidize my plan.  And no violent frickin video games.  If Asteroids was good for my childhood then by God it is good for the kids of today.  And by violent I mean mucho bloodletting etc.  Playing as a serial killer.  Those games will be done away with in my childhood utopia.  All arcades will be mandatory put in every mall across America.  And in Mexico too.  I will also cut out the sale of home gaming systems.  It gets the kids out of the house and into social interactions at the arcade IF they want to play games.  
6. Comics- Comics will return to good guys vs. bad guys.  No raping or extreme bloodletting, miscarriages allowed or any other  hardcore problem in the real world.  Hell I cannot even follow the comics of today.  No radical changes of costumes either.  I do not want Dark blue suited Superman.  The iconic look is the end all be all.  When the comic book movies are made characters WILL look how they look in the comics.  None of this raised webbing crap or Thor without a helmet.  No black leather either.
7. Fast food characters- They all return!  The Mcdonaldland slides and fun stuff will be back at every Mcdonalds!  So will the Burger King etc.  It will be infested in all the fast food restaurants!  None of this health food shit either at fast food joints.  Want health food?  Stay at home and have a salad.  

8. High sugar cereals- They all return!  And how they used to freakin look too!  None of this health food cereal crap in my breakfast lifestyle.  I will still allow the health food cereals mind you, but if you started as a high sugar rush experience, you will return to that!  I also want the cereal of the month based on the new hit kids movie back at stores.  Where is my Hotel Transylvania cereal?  That goes for Dolly Madison too!  Hostess which is now back in business owns the Dolly Madison brand....They will be remade with the peanuts characters on all their pies and desserts.  Lifetime contract.
9.  Movie format- All movies will be put on the best format and that is the end of it.  No more upgrading shit.  The technology is SO great today.  Tired of going from VHS to DVD and now to Blu Ray.  Forget it.  Pick the best one and stick to it till the end of time.  All movies and TV shows released this way.  And ALL at $10 a pop.  
10. Horror Hosts-  They return to EVERY state in the U.S. and they are on every night at 11 pm!  One for each state so there will be 52 different ones.  And none of this Joe Bob Briggs crap.  These guys have to live their parts.  Dressing up in scary costumes and settings introducing monster movies at their time slot.  


  1. Hobby I have to agree with you on all of this I think it would fantastic if things went back to the ways of old because they really were better times.

  2. 100% agreed Matt!Every generation seems to want to push the envelope a little bit more as far as T.V.,video games and censorship in general goes.And it's the kids who subconsciously suffer because of it.In this era of perpetual war,is it a coincidence that Call of Duty is one of,if not THE most popular game in the country?Just saying.

    1. Never played Call of Duty...Hell I played on Thursday night in the cafe Atari 2600 Adventure! All night long!

  3. Be sure to tell those kids to stay off your lawn too! Razzum-frazzum kids these days...

    I agree with most of what you put out here in spirit. Put the geeks in charge!!!

  4. Brings back memories. I love those old Halloween decorations... how can kids not trick or treat anymore? It is depressing, and damn, I miss arcades.